What else could I post today, when Rajan and I celebrate 20 years of our marriage. At this time, twenty years back, I was with my mum, and other family members, getting ready to take the vows and become Mrs Rajan Ohri. My maiden name Deepali Khanna, seems a lifetime ago. I was just 22 and my husband a year older. We stood smiling, having mixed feelings and thoughts and no clue what life had planned for us.
So Happy 20th Anniversary Husband! <3
We have been blessed with two wonderful boys who have made our life all the more dazzling.
I was pregnant soon after my marriage (very unlikely these days). It was another life changing moment when we both heard the heartbeat of our elder son together at the time of sonography.
I remember how worried you were during the labour which had kept you awake the whole night. While the beginning you were laughing when I had my first few contractions. I remember how you used to laugh at things (uncontrollably) even on the things which were not funny to me ever. And you still laugh the same way. After years of getting mad at you, I realise now that it’s one of the reasons we have made it this far. You laugh and make me laugh when I am not even in the mood to smile.
And then four years later we had our second son. You were all the more worried when doctor told its going to be an urgent C section a month before the due date. It was not easy but together we made it. He arrived before he should, not very well first but a cute little prince later. After few days, life, although rough and patchy somewhere, was pleasant with these two sugar buns. We both were gratified as we both knew this was it and this is what we have wanted. Then we also managed to fit in another appalling event in our life- when I was diagnosed with a damaged hip in 2013. That one and a half year of convincing you for my surgery, was awful for me. Pain had taken a toll over me and I was totally a sucker at that time. Someone told you that I can be bed ridden for rest of my life after the surgery and this was keeping you away from even the thought of it. You didn’t agree for the THR surgery, till you were convinced by the doctor and the other family members and it was unbearable for you to see me in such a pain. In-between I had lost my mother, my only parent as I had already lost my dad when I was just 16, and this brought you more closer to me, and now you had another role to play, as my parent. You were the strongest pillar of strength at that time, comforting me always and letting me cry my heart out. Can’t forget to mention my two boys, who were the same way compassionate as you are .
We had always have each other to stick to, whether it was financial crisis, when I had to jump in to work, to make both the ends meet. Counting on each other and forgiving biggest mistakes of the other. This has helped us to grow during all these years and the best part is we have not become enemies after looking at the worst sides of each other rather we have tried to look for the best and ignore the bad, Encouraging the best to come out more so that the bad can take the backseat. And I am so proud of both of us.
And I want to tell my sons, is that be the kind of husband your dad is. I pray you and your spouse know deep love which is happier in divinely thoughts not upon buying costly gifts to each other. I pray you are forgiving and believer of each other. Because loving each other, forgiving and believing in each other and make life all the more beautiful and meaningful.
All these years it’s not been easy. It’s a lot of hard work and it takes a lot of practice to finally have some tuning. There were some off days and some magical moments to cover those. There is no perfect life it’s just that you keep on working and loving what you have.
As Friedrich Nietzsche has rightly said, “ It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages”
A good marriage is not about one bad day or one good one. It’s about not quitting on either.my husband and I have had both. We have seen some good and bad and there have been stories of fighting and forgiveness both.
I have never looked for big things or gifts in our relationship. It’s always the small things that are mostly unseen, that matters. Like my husband making morning tea for me, helping me in the kitchen when sudden guests have arrived or taking care of me and kids when I was sick.
There were some flaws in both of us, which we both ignored as we both count the good in each other more than counting the bad. And I’m the kind of the wife who says sorry first. Years have passed and the bond has become stronger by each passing day.
I am so happy that I had you, and now I can say that I am happy to share these twenty years with you with all its good and bad, and want to tell you that I want to grow old with you and want to stay in love with you forever and ever. Now I know you and know how fantastic person you are. Cant’ imagine my life without you. And I think I know what being married to you means.
It means living through the good and the bad with you as a constant. It means being willing to change, to compromise, to look at things differently and positively. It means knowing that you have always got my back, and that I have always got yours. You are such a gift to me. I can now see, after twenty years that even though we are utterly different, and communication can be tricky, and we can’t possibly be all that the other needs, that you have loved me so well. You have never deluded me, you never put yourself before me, you love and cherish our children and even in the worst of times you have never given up. Thank you for being my husband.
Marriage….It’s divine. <3
